The 40% of My Life I'm Going to Change

If I'm going to do this, I want to do it all the way--in the most complete and honest way that I can.

It's what I said weeks ago when I decided to study myself. If you want to do a happiness project, you need to know who you are before you can figure out where you want to go.

It's important for you to know that I begin personal projects all the time and never finish them. I get 70% of the way through cleaning my room and then I get on Pinterest. I start a writing project and take three weeks to get words to paper. But I have done something radical for myself this year—I've almost finished a project.

Every day since January 1, 2012, I've been writing down what I've done each day on a 3X5 index card. I wanted a way to document my life for one year. I wanted to prove to myself that I could finish something for ONCE in my life. Completing January-October, I've proved to myself that if I truly invest myself in something, I really can finish it. It showed me that I'm ready for something of this caliber.

I haven't researched since I finished graduate school, but a lifetime of last minute cramming helped me to remember techniques. I took notes: things I love, things that anger me, things that bore me, things that inspire me. I went back through my materials: books I've read, poetry/journal entries I've written, my most listened-to music, and my favorite photos. I spent a lot of time just sitting still and listening to my heart.

I analyzed myself and came out realizing that it is impossible to know why you are the way you are, but you can still learn enough about yourself to feel a sense of identity. I'm from North Carolina, but I'm not Southern. I love great harmonies and the feeling right after I've spilled my heart onto paper [or computer keys]. I'm passionate, emotional, and a loyal friend. I feel happy when I'm dancing and when I'm laughing with my family. I'm also really unsatisfied with how I'm living my life. And that's who Danielle DeVizia is right now.

In The Happiness Project, Gretchen chooses 12 topics to focus on—one for each month of the year. And after taking a three-week-long, intense look at my life, I chose twelve topics of focus for 2013:

January -- Health

February -- Finances

March -- Responsibility

April -- Spirituality

May -- Friendships

June -- Fun

July -- Passion

August -- Intelligence

September -- Perspective

October -- Creativity

November -- Family

December -- Balance

So why should you read this? Like Gretchen, I've struggled with why this is important for me to share with people. If I'm truly doing this for myself, why do I care about publishing it online? Is this incredibly narcissistic of me? I don't really know. What I do know is that hearing what works for other people through first-hand experience has helped me more than reading an article in Psychology Today. I believe that being invested in someone else's goals can inspire you to be more invested in your own life. And that's what I want for anyone reading this. For you to take a look at your life and really consider why your own happiness matters so damn much. For you to figure out, with me, how to be your own happy.

Can this really work? Yes, I really believe it will. According to research, your genetics make up 50% of your disposition. This is why emotional disorders and depression are not something to take lightly. Half of how you feel, every day, is the genetic make-up you were blessed [or not so blessed] with at birth. And only 10 to 20% of our disposition is due to our actual life circumstances: finances, relationships, career, tragedy, etc. This means that 30-40% of how you feel is the perspective you bring to life. That's a powerful idea that holds a lot of personal responsibility. It's also incredibly beautiful because it's a message of hope.

The most important thing I'll need for this is support. I'm looking forward to hearing your feedback, whether you are a Facebook friend I haven't spoken to in years, my best friend, a friend from college or high school, or my family. I'm looking forward to sharing my experiences with you over blueberry vodka tonics, coffee, or Facebook messages. Feel free to comment below, or reach me in a more personal way at ddevizia@gmail.com. I'm looking forward to sharing this journey with you.

It begins.

I am a sucker for self improvement. I have tried too many new things, adapted way too much to Northern culture shock, had innumerable writing projects, and have pinned entirely too many “do it yourself” ideas on Pinterest to not recognize that I am ALWAYS trying to make myself into a better person.

But what have I really been looking for in Mitch Albom books, pinterest boards, and constant self degradation reflection?

Honestly, it's happiness.

If you haven't read Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project, this may be the point where you are now concerned for my emotional well-being and you just want to bake me some homemade cookies as you mutter to yourself, “bless her heart.”

Believe me, I am not depressed. I am just unsatisfied.

There comes a time in the life of a writer where she knows that what she's writing has been said a thousand different ways a thousand times before—words filled with rich, cliché centers. So many authors have said it much better than I have. I'm just scared to keep writing because what I have to say isn't new, and because of that I don't know if it has any worth. But projects and quests for happiness have to start somewhere, even if it's at the bottom of the barrel, hoping you can shoot for the moon and land upon the stars, and maybe kill two metaphorical birds with metaphorical stones along the way.

So I hope you understand, but all I'm really left with is to just carpe diem the hell out of this.

So this is my next writing project. And here it goes.